Lonely Wallflower goes WordPress

Hello world!


since this is my first post, I would like to tell a bit about myself. Not too much, because I’d like this blog to be a way for me to write about stuff that is on my mind: anonymously.


I would love to exchange thoughts, visions and ideas and because I was/am able to create a blog like this, I’d thought this the best way to do it. And if you decide to leave me a comment, you may do so anonymously as well. BUT if it is too offensive, be sure I will delete it. I am open minded, I would love to read many different thoughts on things/items, but in a fashionable way. In a reasonable way, in a grown up way. I won’t attack anyone on his/her believes, but I do believe in building your own “case”. So if you truly believe in something, be sure to explain why. That way, it may be easier for me (and other readers?) to follow your line of thinking.



I can tell about me that I am living in the Netherlands (born and raised). I am reaching the magical age of 30, where (according to some) life will truly take a change. I am female and I am bi-sexual. It took me 12 years to come out of that moldy, dark cabinet. But here I am. Not sure if it is something to be “proud” of. It does make some things more difficult than before, when I was “considered” heterosexual. But it is who I am and I can’t do a darn thing about it.
I have been living with physical complaints ever since I was 16 and I have had several surgeries to help me get better. Ever since the physical complains started, I’ve also started to have mental problems, mild depressions. I am someone who likes to take good care of myself, not asking for help, only wanting to give it when it’s needed. But my physical problems took me to places where I needed help 24/7 and that made me miserable and mad at times. I was/am young and I felt like I was a senior citizen.
After losing a job last year I’ve been searching and applying but so far, no good. That doesn’t help my state of mind either. I want to solve my problems on my own but I find that I can’t do it. And to discuss people whom I trust can be nice, but they try to be too understanding.


With too understanding I mean they always tell you things will be OK. Better days are just around the corner. Never do they try to put themselves into my position and really think on how they would feel then. Because people who are more fortunate, who never had much troubles at anything, they can’t really begin to understand how it is to be me. I don’t want to be harsh to anyone, this is just my open opinion. I love my friends and I thank them all for trying to help me, for being there for me. But I guess through this blog, I am trying to reach out to others around the world who maybe can identify themselves with me. Who do know what it’s like when you’re going to bed and you just hope you will never have to wake again. When you feel like every day is the same old, boring sh*t and you can’t seem to get out of it. When you know what you’ll be doing tomorrow, the day after, even a week after that.


This will be my first post. Then I have to figure out how to change all the settings of this wonderful free blog site to my likings. I am looking forward to open and honest comments. Let’s be there for each other, let’s learn from each other and help each other get stronger. Thank you!


~ by Lonely Wallflower on February 27, 2010.

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