Once upon a time…

…there was a little girl.

She never had many friends and most of the ones she did have, only were her “friends” ’till they got what they wanted. And then, she was dumped, used and alone again. She was the one who didn’t fit in. She was the one who got nice/OK grades but maybe could have done so much better if she felt more accepted. Back in those days, school’s policy and teachers didn’t so anything against bullying. And if they did, they did it so bad that the one ending up in troubles was the one who was being bullied. Not the ones who did it to others. And of course, if she did tell a teacher, she’d be in trouble again because she told on the bullies. Life wasn’t easy.But still, there were days she felt good, had fun and she did have some real friends. Those real friends, not more than 2 or 3, helped her to keep going on. In the final grade, she was the one with a secret boyfriend. At age 11, she already had an interest in all what came with boys and stuff. I guess you know what I mean. It was something else she didn’t share with her classmates, so she decided not to share it at all. The last grade went OK, but she felt like it could have been better.

Then primary school came to and end and, at 12 years, she had to move on to high school. The troubles of finding new friends began. And again, so did the bullying. Things weren’t always easy, but she kept going on. In the end of the second grade this young lady (aged 14) found out that she not only loved boys/men. But because she already had a boyfriend, she thought it wasn’t worth it. Besides, she already was considered a “freak” so she just kept it for herself.

At this age if 14, she also met her best friend ever. She had to beg her mum to take her to a fan-club day of a band she loved and still loves to bits. Her mum said OK and she is still happy about it. Just before she had to go, a girl came up to her, asking for her address so they could be pen-pals. Both of them would attend the same concert and plans were being made to go together.
Throughout the 16 years they have been friends there have been some bumps in the road. But she is very lucky, for a change, because all those bumps have been smoothed and all is still going OK. It is a good feeling to have a dear friend for so many years, she thought.

High school would last for 5 years. In the 4th year, she had an argument with her (favorite) grandmother. A big one. She can’t remember what it was about, but it must have been something quite silly. A day after that, her grandparents went on vacation. A few days later, she picked up the ringing phone and got her grandfather on the line, if he could talk to her dad (his son). Strange, she taught, normally, grandma makes the calls. And then the bad news hit: her grandma had died… 3 days after that, she received a card written by her grandma, saying all was well… Even if she thinks about it now, tears dwell in her eyes. When there was a time to say goodbye, she was too scared. Now she regrets it, together with that silly fight, for the rest of her life.

Just a few months after that, in December, she had trouble walking. Her right hip hurt like hell when she walked and at times she even fell down because the pain was too huge. GP appointment, X-rays and specialist… In April the next year she got the results of it all and also a big shock: OR she got a hip surgery and would probably be able to walk OK again after that. OR she would end up in a wheelchair at the age of 18. WOW! Puberty was really hard, I guess most harder on her than on others… The first depression sets in… And so she made her school final exams on crutches and got then she got her surgery in August. Her new education would start early September.

It was hard going to school by taxi, not being able to go to all the classes herself because the school wasn’t equipped for people in wheelchairs. She had the same “not fitting in” experience. The people she knew were in another class and the people who were in her class all came from the same region, some knowing some and she just didn’t fit in. School itself wasn’t too hard, the internships and communication with classmates were. She did her best, struggled to fit in but it wouldn’t help.

Just before she quit school, halfway May, she met a guy. This guy has been her boyfriend ever since. She started a new education, it would only take 2 years instead of 3 because of the schools and classes she had already had in the past.

During the first year, her boyfriend’s father died suddenly. His mother was already ill from cancer. Things weren’t going well. She started a job to have some money next to her study. In the second year of her school, her boyfriend’s mother died. She had already partially moved in with her boyfriend and his mother because she wanted to help taking care. It was hard. School study, work and the extra care… When his mother died and she really moved in with him, she quit school. She couldn’t enjoy it anyway and she wanted to make money to pay for her own expenses.

She still regrets not having a finished higher education. But she made her choices based on her options and feelings back then. Maybe they were not the best ones, but it was the best she could do back then.

It’s been 9 years since her mother-in-law (well, she wasn’t married back then, nor is she married now) died.Many things have happened since. But seeing it is a “Once upon a time…” story, it has to be in the past, not the present or the past which is still “young”. Maybe this story will be continued… Who knows (but me)?

She tries to live happily ever after…

But that isn’t always the easiest thing to do…

And to end this story I wish to share yet another “Wisdom quote of the day”:

When one door closes, another opens.
But we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door
that we don’t see the one that has opened for us

Helen Keller
(1880-1968) American Blind/Deaf Author, Lecturer, Amorist


~ by Lonely Wallflower on March 3, 2010.

2 Responses to “Once upon a time…”

  1. I’m emailing you a response…

  2. Thanks! I will reply to it as soon as I am up to it. Have read it and thanks for sharing *hugs*

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: