Condolences and loss

This afternoon I heard that the mother of an old school friend of mine has died. I knew she was in hospital, I even visited her twice, also together with our GF. She was positive about many things, sure she would fight her illness, sure she would win. She was making adjusted plans for the future already, adapting to the loss of certain abilities due to her illness.

She was supposed to come home on Friday. But she got some pains in a new place, and they decided it was best to keep her for a few days longer, to check it all out. So they were checking her out on Saturday, and then things went terribly wrong. She died on Sunday morning. And today my mum informed me. I haven’t really cried about it. We didn’t see each other on a daily base, but we did keep in touch. We had the same interests in many things.

I think I still really haven’t come around to the idea that she won’t be around anymore. I guess it will hit me soon. I guess I will cry, cry hard, and then let it sink in some more.

I guess it doesn’t matter how many times you have lost someone you loved/cared about, it still hurts like hell. Especially when you weren’t really prepared for it. When you know someone is on his/her final sickbed, you tend to look at things in another way. Especially when that person is living with extreme pains and all. But this was not the case.

Now, I am glad that I have visited her, been there and showed that I care(d). Even though it doesn’t seem to make any difference to her now, it must have meant something before she died… I hope… Or I’d like to believe so anyway…

*tears start rolling, so I will publish this post now*


~ by Lonely Wallflower on March 15, 2010.

2 Responses to “Condolences and loss”

  1. {{{hugs}}} x

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