Feel like drinking…

GrolschThere are times when I would just love to grab a drink. And another. And then another one after that… Just until I can’t feel anymore. Until I can’t think straight anymore (so no more stupid thoughts). When I am alone I just want to grab a beer. But when I have someone to share some drinks with, I often prefer something stronger. Depends on several things… Even the weather…

When the sun is shining, I love to drink.
When it’s raining, I love to drink.
When I feel sad, I love to drink.
When I feel happy, I love to drink.

It’s not that I am an alcoholic. Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t get drunk very often. Maybe once a month, when there’s parties involved twice… But I do like it when the alcohol sets in, even if just a bit, and I can relax for a while.

It’s been so long since I really could relax. I think I have forgotten on how to relax. My muscles have not been able to relax in months. They’re just as tense as I am. I don’t know what I can do to relax. People sometimes say to me that I need to relax a bit. But no one can tell me how. I do use incense at times, but I can only use it in my attic room because BF doesn’t like it… I love the scents and all. But I can’t really relax because of it. I just don’t know what to do…

But I know how to pour a drink, I am also old enough to buy them, so well…

Sauza TequillaI don’t know what I want to “achieve” with this post. Maybe I just wanted to share it all. Maybe I want to write about something I like to do. As said, I barely get drunk. I wouldn’t want alcohol to make my depression worse. When I feel really, really depressed, I often try to steer away from alcohol. I know that it’s no good to drink when depressed. So I don’t touch it then.

Ah well… I just had a small can of Grolsch to go with my Chinese food. I always like a beer with that. And the last time we did some Tequila shots with some friends, I had about 5… I felt like that was enough, even though there was this little voice inside of me telling me I needed more.

I think I only want to send out the message that alcohol can be nice but it can also be dangerous. Especially when you are known to be depressed. Or when you’re pregnant. Or when you’re on certain types of medication…

Don’t drink and drive, drink wise! THINK BEFORE YOU DRINK 😀


~ by Lonely Wallflower on April 8, 2010.

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