White roseI think I am obsessed. Or maybe I am just crazy. Or maybe I am interested to see who’s interested. But ever since I started this blog, I have been checking the visitors counts several times a day. Even though I get an e-mail whenever someone has left me a comment, I will keep checking for those as well. Maybe I am hoping that my blog is as important to others as it is to me. I know it must sound silly. But when I started writing here, I was hoping that the topics I am writing about would attract a certain “type” of readers, that it would attract others to place comments. All is anonymous, so no one would have to worry about reveling their identity, including me. I was and am really hoping that people can relate to my topics and are willing to respond to them by placing a comment.I keep on checking and checking. Hoping I had many views, which also resulted in a few real comments. I use the word real, because I HATE spammers! I will never apply a spam comment, so please people, DON’T BOTHER if you are a SPAMMER! It’s a waste of your and my time. I will click on delete and no one will see it.
But I do love real comments. Comments which are placed by people who have actually read my post(s) and care enough to comment on them. It makes me feel good, makes me feel like jumping happy and high, because people do care. Because my feelings and words do matter.

Being depressed often makes you feel like you don’t matter. Like you are useless and that there’s no one who cares about you. So when I get another view on my blog, when someone cares enough to post a comment, it makes me feel more worthy.

It’s the same with the posts I make at TTL. When people respond, it feels good. Just to know that people really care, feels good. I feel good.

This is kind of my way to thanking everyone who was interested enough to take their time to read posts on this blog. And also to thank the people who, after reading one or more posts, cared even more and posted a comment.


“We are so obsessed with doing
that we have no time and no imagination left for being.
As a result,
men are valued not for what they are
but for what they do or what they have,
for their usefulness.”

Thomas Merton


~ by Lonely Wallflower on April 14, 2010.

3 Responses to “Obsessed?”

  1. Hey there, I discovered your blog a couple of days ago and have been reading through your posts. I have also linked to your site from my own. Your posts have inspired me to talk openly about my own depression. I do plant to address that in my blog very soon too.

    Maybe we can help each other along.

    Take care xx

  2. Here is a comment to make you feel good, make you feel like jumping happy and high! Yay!
    Also, I completely understand your obsession with comments. I have and do do the same with emails and phone messages. I typically can tell you exactly how many days it has been since I sent a message to which a person has not yet responded.

    • *YAY* Jumping now…
      Thanks for the comment dear. And I am almost “glad” I am not the only one being obsessive about stuff like this. Though I do wonder if it is really me or my obsession and the need to reach out and matter to others…

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