Slow day today

Chance April 2010Hello everyone,

I am back, once again. Today has been a relaxed and easy day. My headache’s still are bad. It’s hard to suppress them, and pills are not helping. Not against these headaches. I wish pills would help. I am in doubt whether Dr. D. should have given me some meds or not. The headaches that I get from the depression are so bad. At times, I wish I could take many, many normal pain relievers, hoping that they will help. I know a normal dose won’t help. I have tried, many times. I wish I would dare myself one day and just see if an overdose of normal, prescription free, painkillers would help. But I am too chicken. So when it really gets bad, I “just” swing my head against a wall or floor (check the auto mutilation post I wrote earlier). I hate taking pills. But I would love to have some meds that would help me relieve me from these bad headaches.

Ah well, I have spend all afternoon together with Chance. We walked together, did some grocery shopping, I tried to enjoy the sun (when the clouds would sod off for a while) and read “Death du Jour” (another one by Kathy Reichs, I know) and now I am watching season 5 of Friends on DVD.So I am taking it easy, hoping my headache won’t get worse. I will make some dinner now. Well, it’s microwave dinner, seeing I am eating alone. GF is at work, BF is busy with work as well. So it’s still me and Chance and Friends on DVD with a microwave dinner. Almost sounds pathetic… I know…

After researching some more about psychiatrists and compensation for them (seeing I am not too rich, seeing I still have no job, *sigh*) and I found out I’d rather go to another psychiatrists… I haven’t even been to this one, seeing I am on a 3 or 4 week waiting list. But it already doesn’t feel too good, so I guess it’s better to change to a place which feels a bit better to begin with. But I am too chicken to call, so I am very glad that our GF wants to support me by making these dreadful calls…


I guess I will leave the post as it is and get my dinner into the microwave. I’m a bit too…well, euh, not sure, bummed out I guess to find a suiting quote for now. Sorry… I will be back with more about me and also some more “Wisdom Quotes”.

Thanks for your interest! And if you comment, thanks for that too!

~ by Lonely Wallflower on April 14, 2010.

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