Working out and more

Raindrops on flowerHowdy folks!

I had a nice day today, even though it started with a nasty headache, one that I got because of my depression (which sucks because they can’t be tamed by over-the-counter painkillers). I still have it but I am glad I could suppress it as long as I have. It is winning terrain so I guess I need to go to bed soon, because that is the only thing that helps, even if it’s just a little bit of help.

But after I woke up I went downstairs. GF was walking with Chance. I grabbed some brunch, Muesli with yogurt and juice. Then I switched on the TV and DVD player, put in the first disc of the sixth Friends season and enjoyed my brunch. When I finished the Muesli, Chance was home so she could clean out the bowl. I grabbed my guitar and started to practice some things that our neighbor C. had showed me. It’s the beginning of “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC. I am a chords player so it is still hard for me to pick notes. That’s why C. is teaching me and I am practicing. After a while I grabbed an old music book (one I have used when I was teaching myself to play chords) and played some tunes out of it. I have to say that I am getting better at the quick chord changing. *yay* me. In the end I watched almost 2 discs of Friends while playing. But then my fingers were complaining so I quit, both Friends and the practicing. In between, I also shot some pictures of Chance, goofing around in her basket.Silly Chance

I wanted to sit in the sun and read a bit in my “Overcoming Depression” book, seeing it’s been a while since I read in that one. I have been reading a lot of Kathy Reichs’ work lately. I love her books. But if I want to beat my depression, find out what it is that makes me feel so f*cked up, I need to read up about it. I want to know what I can do for myself. Who knows how long it’ll take for me to get treated, to get psychological help, start a real treatment. And when that help is finally offered, as I mentioned before, I want to know what the shrink/GP is talking about. I want to understand them, to understand my illness in order to be able to beat it.

When I put away my guitar, I went upstairs and changed clothes. I decided it was time for another bike ride while watching a DVD. I started it, level 2 again, and noticed my muscles were aching a bit. But I am not a quitter. I am not; my depression wants to make me one. So I need to keep determent and keep on pushing myself to keep on going, NOT to give up! Not to give in!

So I began and after a while I was sweating like a waterfall. But after 30 minutes I got a call. It showed no caller ID and seeing I have applied for several jobs, I needed to take this call. Putting my exercise and DVD on pause I pressed the green phone button: answer. The lady on the other side asked if it was convenient and, still panting, I told her that I was working out when she called. She wanted to make an appointment for a job interview. Not a great job, but it would be something I think I can do and it is full-time. So on Thursday morning I have the interview. They were looking for someone starting May-June. So if I get hired, I do hope I can start after FedCon. I only have a dentist appointment in May (during the weekdays, a day before my birthday!). Ah well, with the previous job interview I also thought I did well and I got it… But then they never called me back after the first call back… *sigh* Ah well, I’ll do my best and it’s all I can do. They’re free to hire me (and fire me)…

When I set the appointment I rushed back and got riding again. I “lost” two minutes because of the call. But I might get a job because of that. Might…

I rode for 1:04 in the end, quitting when I hit the 25 kilometers. According to my Polar watch, I had burned/used 500 calories. the fat percentage was, again, 50%.
It was enough for today. Tomorrow is a new day and I will ride again then as well. I need to get a grip on something in my life, so it might as well be this: working out.

Just before I got to the 25 kilometers, our GF got home. I was wet from sweating and it felt good! I changed into some comfortable clothes, dry ones… When I was done, we called our BF to ask what his dinner plans were, seeing he was out and about for his job. He was dining with the men, so we were free to dine as we wished. I immediately prepped the oven and the pizzas and got ready for dinner. We watched some TV and after dinner, Chance got hers. I changed clothes (again) and we walked with Chance. We ran into R. and R. (dog that attacked Brutus and his owner). GF thanked him for the money (to pay Brutus’ bill) and then we went separate ways. R. was on his leach barked in a mean way to Chance. R. did ask if we were going on too, but we said we were heading the other way. I really don’t have the urge to walk with them… I guess you all can imagine why…

When we got back from the walk with Chance, I got back into my relaxing outfit. I Googled a bit and after a while I went downstairs again. I did a small workout with my weights. My muscles were complaining a bit. I guess they are starting to realize that I am really going to train them on a regular base. Hope they will agree with me soon 🙂

While working with the weights and bands, I have been watching telly. And after the small workout, I started to write this blog post.

I am trying to watch what I eat and drink, calorie wise. Not that I am counting, but I do want to get an idea of what I nourish myself with. I have no need to become skinny, to become a calorie-counter… I just want to get a grip on my binge eating as well. I know that because of my depression I can start eating and never wanting to stop… I want to comfort myself with food. Only to end up nauseated and feeling guilty. Guilty of stuffing myself like I’m not worth anything, while I know I want to work on my condition and weight. And stuffing myself is absolutely NOT helping in ANY way! So I hope I will get a better idea of how many calories my food and drinks contain. And with the working out, I hope it will help me to really get that grip.

Achievements of today:

  • I wanted to read a bit in my “Overcoming Depression” book: I read aprox. 20 pages.
  • I wanted to work out: did 25 kilometers on the indoor bike.
  • I wanted to use my weights: worked them for 15 minutes (together with the bands).
  • I want a job: got a call for an interview (not really my achievement, but I did fill out the application previously which lead to this call).

So all in all, not to bad for a day’s “work”.
I will leave you with another Wisdom Quote and the knowledge that I will be back to post here!

“Believe in yourself!
Have faith in your abilities!
Without a humble but reasonable confidence
in your own powers
you cannot be successful or happy.”

Norman Vincent Peale

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~ by Lonely Wallflower on April 21, 2010.

2 Responses to “Working out and more”

  1. Yea for working out. Yea for potential job. Boo for angry muscles and their silly resistance.

  2. […] or increased appetite or weight gain Hmmm, I have written about binge eating before and trying to lose weight that I gained (due to all the eating). Other times when I feel f*cked up, I won’t eat and […]

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