Nirvana. Classic song, classic album… I do not own the rights!

Ever since June 20th I started taking lithium pills. I started on two pills a day of 400mgr. Last Monday I went to the hospital to get my blood drawn. They filled up 4 veils. I was out in about 1,5 minutes haha! I am used to it (drawing blood) so it’s a piece of cake for me. Sit down, strap on, needle in, veils on and off and needle out and done!

So what do I think of taking meds now?

I don’t like medication. I hate it even. But because my ups and downs can be so immense, so intense and even extreme, I decided to try it out. If I am alone, it wouldn’t bother me as much as it does when I am experiencing a low. Sometimes, when I am home alone during a low, I can even enjoy it. I get very creative in writing poems and lyrics. When I am feeling good, it’s much harder. I know it may sound strange, but this is how I experience it. And that is what this blog is about, me.

But first some sites I found with info about lithium:

So that is how I started taking two pills a day. I try to take them every day between 17 and 18 o’clock. Pdoc said to take them early, but with the shifts of my work, this is a better time period for me. And some sites mentioned that it was better to take in the evening, due to the the side effects the pills can have. The first week I was yawning immensely for 2 hours every time I had taken the pills. It was very annoying! Now, it’s much less. I did have a fight with GF on Sunday and thought for a while to ditch the pills. They wouldn’t help me anyway. And seeing I hate meds… But then, I promised her to try it. Pdoc told us it would take 2 or maybe 3 months to be really sure if they would have a positive (or negative) effect on me.

But I mentioned before, I really dislike pills. The only time I liked to take them, were before a surgery on my hip. I was in so much pain and the pills helped to relieve that pain a bit. So it made my life a bit more bearable. And that is why I have decided to try out the lithium. I am not living alone. I don’t even have one lover, I have two. So when my mood swings, it doesn’t only effect me but also my two loves. BF isn’t really into all the psych stuff. But I do believe I have mentioned that before. GF is more connected, interested and helpful. That is why, when ever possible, I take her along to appointments. BF says he’s not interested, but when he is pissed about something, he’s complaining that I shut him out. Then I ask him, if he believes in psych help and pills. When he says no, he also remembers himself that it would be a drag and a bore for him to come along. So that’s that.

Still, I want to try those meds for them! Not really for me, because I know how I am. And at times I do really hate myself. But till now, I have always managed to come back, get out and be happy again; at least for a while. So because I am not alone, I have made this decision. It’s hard to do, my brain tells me to leave the pills every time, because I really don’t like them. But my heart then argues that I made a promise to my loved ones, to GF and I need to keep my promise. The idea of not having those immense, huge mood swings is appealing to me. So I go on. Even if it means having my blood tested. Even if it means doing something I dislike… I promised and when I am thinking clear enough, I know it could be good for me. But, that I will have to wait for. Take the meds, do the blood tests and keep checking my moods.

The next couple of weeks will be busy. Next week I have two tests. Two weeks later I have another one. One next week on Tuesday and then on Monday the 18th I have appointments at 9:15. They will last 3 hours each. I have to go there alone, GF is not allowed… I need to do all sorts of tests to find out if I really have Asperger’s syndrome. Next week on Thursday I have an appointment with GF and my mum. All three appointments are for hospital where I got referred to by Pdoc that also took my ADHD test. Let’s call her Pdoc B. B. told GF and myself about the hospital and it’s research into Asperger’s syndrome. Amongst others, they have groups where not only I can find support, but also where GF can seek help. But seeing there is limited space (isn’t there always when it comes to health care? we pay too much for what we’re getting…), they asked the Pdocs to test me for them. Through these tests they can determine if I should be allowed into the group (or not). So two 3-hour tests and one test with GF and mum that will take 1,5 hours. Busy times… And I still need to hear from Pdoc W. (the one that got me on the lithium) about the dosage and new meds, as I am running out on the first ones I got.

I started with a song and I will end with one. Thanks for checking my blog! Thanks for your interest. I always love comments, as long as it’s not spam. Don’t bother as I won’t allow it to be visible on my blog site.

If you haven’t done so yet, please check out my GF’s blog site. She just started it so be patient. I also made her an author on this blog site. So maybe, someday, you might read something written by her here… Have a good day folks!

Evanescene with their Lithium song. I do not own the rights!

~ by Lonely Wallflower on June 30, 2011.

4 Responses to “Lithium”

  1. Wow! I haven’t heard that Nirvana song in years 🙂

    I truly hope the lithium helps you. My psychiatrist is ‘keeping it up his sleeve’ for me for when other meds stop working, so I think I will eventually be taking it too. I can understand not wanting to take the pills. I would love to never have to take one again but I’ve resigned myself to realising that I will probably be stuck on them for the rest of my life.

    Those appointments sound exhausting. I hope it goes quickly for you and results in some more answers.

    I will pop over and have a look at GF’s blog shortly.

    Take care xx

  2. They can take blood from me fairly easy as well! 🙂

    I hope the Lithium works for you, I know it can take some months to stable moods but stick with it fringers crossed it will help.

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