A blog a day, day #14

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Good Wednesday to all! Been to work today already. Actually managed to do some work in between the malfunctions of the system. Argh how I hate those! I don’t mind working, it’s an honest way to earn my own money. But all those interruptions, seeing the workload grow and not being able to do anything… Very annoying.

Slept all alonr last night. I did sleep a bit better. Though I still woke some time due to pee breaks and nightmares. I was bathing in sweat when I had to get up even though it wasn’t that hot in my room… Stupid depression. Stupid suicidal ideas. Stupid nightmares. All ib all, stupid me. Sigh…

Talked some more with GF and I think we did achieve something. We know it would be silly to do anything big now as in the end it would only make it more difficult as it is now. GF really needs to finish school and find work so she has an income she can rent a place with. Or, together we can rent a place with, her income and mine combined.

On the other hand, BF is still doing OK. Don’t know how long it will last, but for now I am OK with it as it feels a bit better like this. I try to be open about me exploring the options if it should come so far. So all he’s repeating that I want to leave. Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it a few times. Can you blame me after all the fights we’ve had? Wouldn’t you do the same if you were in my shoes? Yeah, maybe, I guess so. I am just telling you because I want to be honest about it. I have to face the facts as they are presented to me. Ah well…

Dentist ran late but my teeth have been approved again. On the way back, BF ordered Chinese and I picked it up right in time. Had a nice dinner, afterwards we walked the dog together. GF had school and work so I didn’t see her at all today.

I am sleeping single once more. BF still has a cold and I still need some decent sleep. Cleaned my dental guard because during the last two nights I felt my jaw/teeth hurt again due to grinding during the nightmares. So I will use it again tonight.

Will watch some TV/DVD, maybe read a bit in my Kathy Reichs book and hopefully after that…sleep. Good night everyone, take care.

LW

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~ by Lonely Wallflower on February 29, 2012.

One Response to “A blog a day, day #14”

  1. Nothing worse than waking up with jaw / tooth ache because of tooth grinding!

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