Medic Monday, day #40

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Monday, another week has started. Working the early shift. That means early bedtime and early getting up. Also it means getting home in time to enjoy some sun. But today, I had to leave work earlier than usual (asked to go home three hours early and it was approved last week). GF had a doc’s appointment at the hospital for her eyes.

I slept terrible. Felt really disturbed by what I blogged about yesterday. It was a really restless night. Still haven’t replied to that message. Still not sure what to write and how to write it. One side of me wants to reply and spill it all out. Bury her under all that she has done to hurt me. She may not have meant to hurt me, she is totally unaware that she hurt me. On the other hand, if I don’t reply, doesn’t that day enough? Or would that make me look like the bad one here, since she tried to communicate and then it’s me who never replied. So I feel that I should reply. But I need to find the right words. If I use the wrong ones, probably the ones I would love to use most, she’d feel offended straight away and it wouldn’t matter what I wrote…

So if I do write something back, I want it to be decent yet honest about everything. But now the most difficult task, how to write it and what to write…?

OK as I have to go to bed soon, no more worries about that for tonight.

Doc’s appointment went well. Now we have to wait what they decide. And after that, when it will be done. I need to check with work of I can get a special kind of leave then, to take care of GF. But also, too much thinking ahead…

Rest of the day also went OK. Did the grocery shopping after the hospital visit. Spend time in the garden in the sun with my HP 7 book. Went to the water side with the little brown girl. She was happy. She could swim. Back to the garden. Book and wet dog. Ow and sun, hehe!

Then I made dinner. BF wasn’t home yet. Guess I won’t see him until tomorrow morning. Now I will post his and relax a bit before bedtime. GF said she could massage be a bit before bedtime. Sounds good. Sleeping single tonight. Need some rest.

Hope you all are well, big hugs as much luv to all you readers, commenters, likers, raters 😉  LW :-*

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~ by Lonely Wallflower on March 26, 2012.

2 Responses to “Medic Monday, day #40”

  1. The only advice I can offer is tell her, don’t sit on how you feel. I think expressing how she hurt you will serve to help you in the long run.

    • I want to tell. But I am bad with words. Not when I can write anonymiously but when it’s direct to someone. And then also someone that irritates me. I know I need to reply. But I am so frakking lost and looking for the right words… Thanks dear!

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