Difficult Tuesday, day #41

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A happy Wollywell to start this blog post. I am not sure how far I will come with all the stuff in my head, but I will do my best until my head tells me it’s really time to get some sleep. Alarm goes of at 4:20, and it’s 20:40 already now so… I’d better hurry. Or else, there’s always tomorrow.

I just shared a song that I played out loud in the car on my way home today. No gods, no masters. Arch Enemy. Hard to imagine the singer is a woman, a rather small one… If I hadn’t seen them live during Graspop last year I would have never believed it.

Anyhow, back to today’s “issue”…

So after work, while walking with the little brown girl, I Whatsapped that friend back. I started it casually, very casually, and awaited a reply. We ended up texting a lot during this afternoon. I did my best to describe what I felt and why. Why it hurt me so much. Why I needed my distance. She, of course, also had some issues with me she never addressed. But some were her own fault, she admitted later on. She knew what she went along with so should not complain afterwards. Sorry if this is all a bit static, but it’s too much to write it all up and if wouldn’t improve the quality of the information I am typing here.

I told her I needed time. I told her I need some space. I have to take all that’s been written and go over it a few times. Not sure if she totally understood but she at least pretended it very well. She said she would await my action. That she understands it might take some time. I hope she does understand because so much has happened that I really need time. Time to think, re-think, over-do-the-thinking, and then think some more about it. It is hard. Difficult. Frustrating. Confronting.

Ah well, it’s time for bed. I am proud of myself for texting, keeping calm and writing as I did. *yay* me 🙂

Thanks for everything folks. Sending you all some Wallflower love. Sleep tight, *hugs* LW

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~ by Lonely Wallflower on March 27, 2012.

2 Responses to “Difficult Tuesday, day #41”

  1. I just read the chat and want you to know I am proud if you

    xxx
    GF

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