Friends, day #44

Original video by Queen, Friends will be friends, hosted by YouTube, video by QueenVevo

I guess we all know this song. We heard it, at least once (or some of the “”younger” generation might remember the cover by Scooter) or we even know it by heart. As I don’t own the music rights, I am not allowed to post the lyrics.

I would love to share a small part, but the most important one I think, of the lyric here.

It’s not easy love, but you’ve got friends you can trust,
Friends will be friends,
When you’re in need of love they give you care and attention,
Friends will be friends,
When you’re through with life and all hope is lost,
Hold out your hand cos friends will be friends right till the end

 

friends-season

Early August 2011, I wrote a blog post called “Friends, trust, fear & love”. I thought I should link it here, as it has one of the same topics as this blog has: friends.

It was also a show that got me through many difficult times… The TV show that was popular for many years, 10 seasons to be exact, running from 1994 – 2004. This show kept me company when I was alone. At times it kept me company while I was with friends. If you haven’t seen this show or even never heard of it, I would suggest looking it up through Google/YouTube/Amazon. These are 6 totally different people who connect. Some times they connect a little more, other times a little less. But this show has opened up many topics for discussion, showed many people that being different from each other can also be a nice foundation for a friendship with the ability to grow.

I mentioned many times before, making friends is hard for me. I glamoerbeerdiscovered, the hard way unfortunately, that if you trust the wrong people, it only ends up hurting you. Seeing I have been hurt enough, and of course I will be hurt some more in the (near) future, I changed my view on people in general. And I think it affected me more than I dare to admit at times. That is one of the reasons I write this blog anonymously. I know some friends do read this blog, as does my GF. I gave them the link. But I also love how they respect to keep me anonymous. I don’t think I wouldn’t have been able to write many of my posts if I had to sign it with my real name. It might sound silly, but the idea alone makes me shiver.

I guess it’s the idea that people who do know me, know me well enough not to judge me on what I write here. They know that I can’t easily talk about everything and that writing helps me to work it all out. But people who know me just from passing by, or people from my past, they don’t need to know all that is happening with me. Some things just don’t concern anyone who stumbles upon it. Either you are interested in the things I write about or you know me and are interested in me for that reason. But I have had enough of people using things that make me vulnerable against me.

People that really know me won’t use what they read here to hurt me. I hope it makes them understand me better. It is frustrating to not always find the right words to explain things to them At times, I don’t even have the right words to make myself understand a certain situation. So when, later on, I do know how to explain it, I can use this blog. I can communicate with my friends here, on Facebook, through Twitter. I am not sure if it is all me that has troubles with explaining things or if it’s the AS that makes it more difficult.

I take everything literally. It’s not only me who “suffers” from that. I sometimes feel like I friends-are-friends-foreveram a heavy burden to GF/BF/friends by needing things explained to me. They tell me it is easy, or I have to read between the lines, or I shouldn’t take everything literally. But that is just my problem. I can’t help it. I don’t do it on purpose or to tease anyone. But I know that makes a difference between friends and “just” people. Friends don’t blame you for your mistakes. Or they blame you, if you deserve it, but they will forgive you afterwards as well. Friends will not judge you for errors that are not your own. I never asked for my mental difficulties. I know I have to learn to live with them, as I had to before but then I got less understanding.

That is something I really “use” to decide whether someone could become a (close) friend or not. If they are interested in me, if they can treat me with respect and understanding before knowing my difficulties. When I feel I can trust a friend enough, then I will let them in on my more personal, mental, life. I don’t want people to “like” me or treat me any different “just because she has a mental problem”. I want them to like me for who I am. The person I represent. Not for the interesting illness I have. Or because they take pity on me.

Ah well. It’s been a busy day at work. Will give out some grades as I did in yesterday’s quick post. Again, 1 is lowest and 10 is highest.

Work: 8
Pain: 7
Sleep: 7
Dinner I made: 8,5
Mental rest: 3

Ah well… I am going to watch a DVD in bed and if I fall asleep…I must have been really tired then.

All the best to all of you!!! Thanks for all the usual things.

Luv, LW Rode roos

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~ by Lonely Wallflower on March 30, 2012.

2 Responses to “Friends, day #44”

  1. Dear LW,
    It’s a good thing that you can explain it later on (you mention it in the 5th paragraph), but as you mention that in your blog. Does the person involved also read your blog?
    As I was saying it’s a good thing you can explain later on, but it would be a shame if the person involved isn’t aware of it.

    • Dear Jaidyn,

      Thanks for your reply. If I know the person involved is already following my blog, I am sure they will read about it. If I am not sure, I either send them the link or try to write a separate e-mail to them.
      My problem can be though, that it sometimes takes me a very long time to reach a conclusion, to understand a certain topic and/or to find the words for it all. So it can sometimes take a while before I can really write about it.
      Thanks for your question. Have a nice day.

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