Tired, day #47

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Good night everyone. Yes, I know I am late. But I blame it on the night shift. It is easier to write my post in the breaks. When I get up in the afternoon, my head is not yet focussed enough to write. And most of the time I sleep on and off, as I also do during normal nights, so I want to take it easy during the afternoon.

Second break already. Feeling tired, muscles ache, taking it easy.

I have thought a lot about what to shate with you. But nothing really interesting comes to mind.

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I know I want to wish my Twitter friend @sad_piglet lots of luck and strength. I wish her all the best and hope that, after a shitty first day, things can only get better. I have never experienced the difficulties she is facing now. So I can never being to imagine…

Although I do have my share of experience with hospitalisation. Only with other causes. But there, things never went totally OK. I have been forgotten about, nurses were mad at me because they neglected to help me, aaahhh…. So maybe that should be my blog post for tomorrow. I could write about my experiences with hospital health care. But…that’s for blog post number fourty-eight.

I was writing about Sad Piglet’s stuggle. I have been following her for a few weeks now and sometimes I replied on her Tweets. Recently she started replying and following me. I think it could be the start of a nice (digital for now) friendship. I only wish I could help her more. I can reply on her Tweets, send Whatsapp messages… There is a sea full of cold water between us, which makes it kind of impossible to be there for her in real life… Not sure if she will be able to read this blog… But dear, as I mentioned through Twitter and Whatsapp: you’re only a message away πŸ™‚

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The same goes for @frizzychaos. She also lives on the other side of the same sea… But she’s been an active follower from the moment I started blogging. And I have tried to keep up with her several blogs/Twitter accounts up till the current ones πŸ˜‰ And we both share a musical passion πŸ˜€ which is awesome as well…

Internet is a nice way to connect to (new) people, but it also makes me sad at times that you can’t be there for people you grew to care for when needed. Only through 0’s and 1’s, the digital way.

I also would like to mention @butterflywgs and @owallflower. As I also came to respect them a lot. I camr into contact with Butterflywgs through a blog search. Owallflower I found because of the username, as I also use Wallflower in my name πŸ˜‰ Reading each others blogs and tweets. At times commenting here and there, liking the posts to give them (and the writer) a bit more attention.

All of us write about our daily struggle with life. I believe I can also write that we all suffer from an illness, mental or otherwise. For me, it’s nice to know I am not the only one out there who’s running into day to day difficulties. And even though we all write from a different point of view, as our illness steers us through our writing process, some things others write… I can so easily relate to that.

I like the way of connecting to dear, sweet and kind people through the internet. For me, it takes away a big stress factor compared to having to meet new people face to face. I guess it’s my autism part that makes me feel this way. Social interactions can be very hard and energy draining when I meet people for the first time. I believe that, even if I feel I connect to someobe, it still takes me 2 to 3 meet-ups before I will start to feel a bit more at ease. That is, if all goes well. But when I see a Tweet or blog that I find interesting, it’s much easier for me to connect. Maybe because I am writing anonymously, somethinf which is impossible when meeting face-to-face. OK, you can give a false name but that person will still be able to see you for who you really are. OK, of course you can act. But what kind of friendship can be made when you don’t feel good enough to show the real you?

Ah well… It’s time for me to charge my Nexus and myself as well. Thank you, lovely Twitter/blog friends, for being my inspiration during this night. Thank you, lovely followers, for reading and perhaps liking/rating/commenting.

From Lonely Wallflower, with luv πŸ˜€

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~ by Lonely Wallflower on April 3, 2012.

4 Responses to “Tired, day #47”

  1. What a lovely post to read. I am touched by your words, best wishes and support. People who say online relationships are not real have clearly never experienced them as we do. To those of us struggling for whatever reason, to have contact any time day or night is so comforting. To have people understand & relate is awesome. I know, quite honestly, that my twitter family has kept me alive this past year. And now, stuck in hospital where no one is listening to me, much less offering me any comfort, I know I can still get a little warmth from my #twittercrisisteam
    I’m glad we are getting to know each other.

    • You are welcome my dear. I do believe in online friendships. I can’t believe in falling in love with someone online. That is something I need to really meet and see someone for. But I really believe that one can make good friends through the internet. It makes it easier for me, at least, as I wrote in my blog post.

      I know you are having a hard time. That is why I decided to “dedicate” my blogpost to you and the other dear Twitter friends πŸ™‚ I hope things will get better for you soon. I really, really hope so! *hugs*

  2. Thankyou, you are so kind and sweet. I treasure our online friendship even though I am often terrible to reply to things. We all struggle, we all go through similar things, we need to stick together. It is amazing how much support you can have through the internet. Thankyou for being part of my online support team.

    • Thank you for responding to this post then *hugs*. I treasure my online friendships too, hence the dedication to my Twitter support team in this post. Thank you for being there. Thanks for caring! *more hugs*. Us Wallflowers stick together πŸ™‚

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