It’s the fear, day #58

I fear who I am becoming,
I feel that I am losing the struggle within
I can no longer restrain it,
My strength,
it is fading I have to give in

© Within Temptation


This time, a song by Within Temptation instead of Roxette. The lyrics really spoke go me when I heard this song in the car this morning. So this time a song by my favorite Dutch band.

GF slept next to me last night, at the attic room. After sleeping bad for a few nights I wanted to sleep in my attic room. GF decided to join me. I slept less than 6 hours but it was nice to be in GF’s arms again. I missed that…a lot! But I felt damn tired when I had to get up again for work.


Work went OK. It was kinda boring and lonely for a while as I was working alone on my floor. But I did what I could and was happy when I could go home. Weekend time!

I was supposed to work on a small project with BF this afternoon. Of course…that didn’t happen. He’s still not home but he will bring dinner with him 🙂 Which is a good thing as I am getting hungry.

So I used my afternoon to Google images to edit for my blog. And to edit them. Watch some DVD in the background.

Not sure what to write more. I guess the song says a lot right now. I am feeling sad and my mind is working hard on everything it should neglect. Just so damn sad… So hurt. Trying to fight of the darkness that floats like a cloud over my head. But I can’t seem to win. My umbrella isn’t big enough to stop the drops from hitting me. I am scared because I never know how hard it’ll hit me until it’s over and done with. Until the sun shines a ray on me to brighten me up again.

I know it’s coming, it’s happening already. I know it will hurt me and the people close around me as well. I know that I will feel sorry afterwards, even though I did my best to prevent it all from going wrong. Ah well…

Thanks for the usual dears. Take good care of yourselves and have a good start of the weekend.

From a scared little Wallflower with luv.


~ by Lonely Wallflower on April 13, 2012.

2 Responses to “It’s the fear, day #58”

  1. Keep safe x

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