I am quite happy that tomorrow, FedCon will begin. Looking forward to it a lot. But my anxiety is also on the rise. Knowing how many, many, MANY people will be there… Why can’t I only enjoy the experience of being able to go there? Feel the excitement and happiness like so many others now surely already feel?

The green monster of jealousy is present. Hating the sweaty hands, just by the thought of so many people surrounding me. My heart starts to gear up a notch when thinking of all those queues, especially with the “wrong” peeps around me…

Anxiety is holding me back from packing my suitcase now. Fear is slowly taking over. Even the idea of just staying home dooms in the back of my head.

And as ever, I won’t allow myself to give in. I know I will have fun as well. I know I will like seeing some convention friends again. So I am going to overcome and start packing… *yikes*

This is, I believe, the first time I have written about this feeling of anxiety. While typing on my Nexus, my hands became sweaty already. I do hope it gives you, the reader, an idea of all the mixed feelings that come with my mental state of mind.

Been waiting for over a year to go to this convention and now I get anxiety problems because it is so close, real and ready to “happen to me”.

Will try to keep posting while away, going tomorrow morning.

From LW with luv! 

~ by Lonely Wallflower on May 16, 2012.

2 Responses to “Anxiety”

  1. Hope the happy thoughts will clear your mind and you can enjoy this trip you look forward to for long time.
    Have a great time there.

  2. Such conflicting feelings, must be difficult. But I do hope the good will outweigh the bad many times over and that you will have a great time at FedCon and bring home many good and fun memories. Have a good trip!

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