Epic shit…I’m scared…

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Epic shit

Hellow y’all, mesa’s back!

Team Epic Shit. This team started out at a yearly event called Hallowhedon, held this year at Heathrow/London (UK), during October’s last weekend. One of the guest stars was J. August Richards. He started the weekend in a black T-shirt saying: Do Epic Shit. So that became our convention’s motto, which we still try to live up to…

And less then a month later, it became time for me to do something epic. “Do epic shit” means that if you want to achieve something, you some times need to get out of your comfort zone to do something that might scare you a lot but which needs to be done to achieve the epic goal.

Some thing I was always scared of happening will happen. There is nothing I can do about it, against it, so after much anger and frustration, I decided to do something epic…

In my eyes it is really epic…

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I still can’t fully understand why it is happening. I still get so many emotions flowing through me when I am trying to understand… Anger, fear, pain, anxiety all over and around.

But I took just a little of what is happening and I am trying to embrace it completely. Making it my own, as much as I can and is possible, making just a little part less scary…

So am trying to overcome, trying to understand and get a (small) grip on it. Trying to do something with it instead of about it and really want to make it epic.

And even while I/it already started this epic project, it still scares the shit out of me. Anxiety levels going mad, my brain working overtime, my AS trying to get a grip…

Do epic shit!

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~ by Lonely Wallflower on December 13, 2012.

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